Fiction by K Roberts
If I hadn’t heard him fall, I might not have opened the door. After all, it was 2 o’clock in the morning.
But I’m an insomniac, so I was awake. I heard the muffled scream, the thud, the loud self-reproachful groan. And the frantic yapping dog, my word, the dog.
I opened the door. “Could you shut that dog up?” I asked. “My wife needs her sleep.”
The huddled jumble of elbows and knees raised its head slowly. Its cobalt-blue head.
“Bowzer, knock it off,” the blue head snapped.
His blue hand reached out to rub his blue polyester trouser leg. I couldn’t help myself – I leaned dizzily against the doorframe. He was the one with the twisted ankle, and I was the one feeling faint.
“You’re…blue,” I said numbly.
“Blue as Zoe Saldana, in the movie Avatar? Yes, I know. Don’t worry, it’s greasepaint. Only comes off with cold cream, and I hadn’t time. Bowzer didn’t get his walk t’day.”
“I was afraid maybe cyanosis…Will it drift? Smear.”
“On your grass? Perhaps a bit. Sorry about that. Won’t poison the lawn, I shouldn’t think.”
“I was thinking the furniture. Would you care to come in? Or have me call someone?”
“I’ve a phone. But thank you, a chair would be just the ticket right now.”
Yes, I did let him in. It was completely my fault. There was a broken whatsit in the lawn sprinkler system, sticking up like a spike, and I hadn’t gotten it fixed. Blame that on New Homeowner Syndrome – I’d made a checklist of repairs when moving in, but there were more upgrades to do than time to do them. That was my excuse, anyway.
The blue fellow hoisted himself up and, with an assist from my shoulder, stumbled over the doorsill. A towel on the armchair, a pork chop for the dog, and a hot cup of tea later, we were joined by my wife.
“May I present my charming spouse, Nellie. That’s Emily, to you.”
“Matching bathrobes,” the stranger observed, with a discerning nod.
We’d not gotten to the first-name stage quite, but Nellie bridged that gap neatly.
“Roger???” she gasped.
“You know him?” (A double-take from me.)
“We attended school together. Did you come straight from a concert?”
“Very nearly. The dog’s bladder wouldn’t wait. Got back to the hotel from an after-party to find my assistant gone.”
“Concert?” My familiar world was suddenly developing all sorts of new, labyrinthian corners.
“He’s one of the three wizards. The blue one,” Nellie said.
“I gathered,” I said. “What other color would a wizard be?”
“Green and Purple,” Roger supplied helpfully.
“They’re a touring group, the Three Wizards,” Nellie added. “A band. Music?”
“Ah.”
I’m an aerospace engineer. If I can’t measure it or calibrate it, you have to explain it to me.
“Fancy you crash-landing on our lawn. Like a rocket man,” Nellie said, and fluttered her way into a seat.
“I suppose the whole neighborhood heard,” Roger shrugged. “Sorry to wake you. Wasn’t my intention, I assure you. But as I’m here, how have you been?”
“Since you ask,” Nellie said, “we’ve got a son.”
“Congratulations!” Roger was immediately and completely enthusiastic. I thought he was adapting to the role of involuntary guest rather better than I would have. I was beginning to like the fellow.
“Tommy is hers, actually,” I interposed. “He came with the package. A bargain for me, really, a ready-made family.”
“Sort of a bonus,” Roger said.
“Exactly. My good luck.”
“Yes, well, um. Er –” Nellie began. “The thing is, I mean. About that…”
K Roberts is a professional non-fiction writer, a published artist, and a first reader in fiction for two literary magazines.
Photo by Amauri Mejía on Unsplash
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